Marriage and Relationships,  Other Side of 40

10 ideas to reconnect with your spouse

In the last year , 3 different friends  have announced that they were divorcing their spouses after 20+ years of marriage.

Let me just say… these couples appeared to be rock-solid. They were the type of couples that everyone wanted to be like.  It was shocking to read/hear that their relationships were coming to an  end.

I was talking to my friend, Melissa, about her situation. She said, I’m not really sure what happened. Everything seemed fine until Gabby graduated. One day, I woke up and realized things were very different between us. I didn’t really know who either of us were.  ” After 6 months of trying to fix their marriage including therapy, they decided to close that chapter of their lives.

Y’all, that is just heart-breaking.

The one thing I remember my grandmother telling me before I got married, was that  you need to work at your marriage everyday. It’s all about the little things.

So many times, when our children were young, they were the focus of our daily lives. Our relationship  got  moved to second or third on the list of priorities. It happens.

Raising children is hard work and sometimes, you barely have anything else left. Over time, this can wear down a relationship, no matter how solid.

A few years ago, my husband and I realized that we were heading in that direction. The only topic of conversation that we had on a regular basis was about our daughters.

We both needed more.

Determined to not go down the path leading to divorce, we started to do more things together as a couple. For example,  taking a 3 mile walk most evenings.  Since then, we also added a coffee date every Saturday/Sunday morning.

It allows Dan and I to reconnect with each other as a couple, not as parents. If we do our jobs as parents, our children will move on with their own lives. Our life together won’t be about our children forever.

If you’re in the same boat, then plan that date (or even better, plan a weekend) Here are 10 unique date night (or day)  ideas for you..

  1. Hit up the Farmers’ Market on a Saturday morning
  2. Go listen to some live music
  3. Get a couples’ massage
  4. Take a fitness, dance or cooking class together
  5. Go on a Hike
  6. Take a weekend trip
  7. Go out for Sunday Brunch (mmm… Mimosas!)
  8. Hit the open water.. paddle boarding, kayaking, boating.
  9. Check out a local Brewery and have a few drinks
  10. Plan a romantic picnic for 2 in a favorite spot

Reconnecting with your spouse can be done. You don’t need grand gestures or elaborate romantic dates to reconnect.

All you need to reconnect is something that’s so simple and quick even tired parents can make it happen. You both have to acknowledge your commitment to reconnecting with one another and make it a priority!


What tried-and-true ideas do you have for how to reconnect with your spouse? Share in a comment below!


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